A couple of weeks ago, I took my daughter and her friend to ice-skate (something her friend suggested when we asked her where to go). I have never ice-skated in my life but my focus was on facilitating a good day out for the girls. When we reached there, I was trying to figure out what to do but my daughter’s friend (she’s been there before) guided us, then, we were ready to get on the rink. As I put one foot on, it felt so very scary! I held on to the wall for a while and I was ready to leave and just watch the girls. My daughter learned really fast and was having fun with her friend while navigating her way through this new skill. But her empathetic personality, lead her to constantly checking on me. “Are you ok?” “where are you going?, “come with us”. I wanted her to have a good day, and no matter what, I had to say, “good”. They held my hands and I went all the way around. But as I was struggling to go around, I was talking myself out of it, “That’s not for me, I’m an earth person, I’d rather be standing on firm, grounding earth. I’m not good at balancing”. Making my way around the rink was so tiring and required too much work from me. Constantly trying not to fall was exhausting! In that moment I realised something amazing.
The problem was, that I was scared to fall because it was something uncomfortable. As soon as I realised what was holding me back, It was easier for me to keep going and make progress. I even attempted to fall, so it became familiar and less scary, so my mind can register that its not that bad, but I wasn’t able to allow myself to fall, not yet (something crazy you may think 🙂 but there is more to this). Around the same time, I did a Coach lab where we meet with a master coach and we practice our coaching method. I’ve been practicing a fair bit with practice clients and took the courage to volunteer for practice on this coach lab. There was about 9 people on that call and I was the first to volunteer. I went in and crashed real bad. My nerves got the better of me. My mind was overwhelmed with thoughts and worries about the outcome and of course it didn’t go well (My mind was focusing on what if I don’t do well, how embarrassing to fail, what if I can’t speak well, what if I don’t understand a word, and on and on). But what happened after this ‘big fall’ (it felt big to me due to my magnified anxiety), is, that I felt good about it! I felt uncomfortable and embarrassed at first but after sitting with the discomfort for a bit, I felt good about being brave but mostly I felt good because I NOW KNEW HOW IT FELT AND IT WAS NOT THAT BAD! I became comfortable with the uncomfortable!
When I decided to ‘Open doors to find my purpose’, I wanted to be brave enough to get out of my comfort zone. The work I’ve done with my psychotherapist after I decided to ‘Open my heart and mind’, has helped me to be less fearful in general. Once I started to be less fearful, I was able to contemplate the idea of getting out of my comfort zone, in which I’ve been stuck for too long. Therefore this has helped me to ‘open doors’ even though I did’t know what’s behind them!
The first thing I’ve done, was to embark on a new journey to become a Wellness Coach. To do this I had to do more uncomfortable things like asking for a bank loan and talking to my husband about it while we were already struggling financially. Taking the course itself and wondering if its the right thing for me to do. The voice in my head kept telling me “what if you are making a mistake, what if you can’t do this, what if you don’t make enough money to pay back your loan and be financially free?”It kept going with more, “you are not good enough for this, who do you think you are? you don’t have what it takes, you are too simple, you don’t know everything that needs to know, you can’t talk in front of people and on and on. If I’d listened to this voice in my head, I’d still be where I was, Stuck. Instead I decided to believe in myself and have faith in Life/God. I wanted to change the way I think and let go of beliefs that was holding me back. I was determined to find my purpose and therefore I needed to get comfortable with the uncomfortable.
“The comfort zone is a psychological state in which one feels familiar, safe, at ease, and secure. You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”
― Roy T. Bennet
My tips to get out of your comfort zone:
- Start with something that you can handle, one step at a time, start with the small uncomfortable actions and build your way up
- Be kind to yourself, if you couldn’t do it just talk to yourself kindly, just the way you would to someone you love (Give yourself a big Hug and lots of self-love). There is always another chance and another and another
- Keep practicing, Practice makes better
- Get to know yourself- Awareness is key (What can I do? What can’t I do? Why? We all have our strengths and limitations, just know them so you can support yourself best
- Believe in yourself, we were born with our full potential
- Have faith in Life/God
- Let go of what is holding you back
- Talk to someone who care and who will support you (Friend, Family, Coach)
I am still on this journey. I will still be uncomfortable in many situations to come, the voice in my head will still be here to stop me but the more I practice getting out of it, the more I’ll start getting comfortable with the uncomfortable.
Have you tried to get out of your comfort zone? How did that feel? How did you do it? Do you want to achieve something big or small but it feels too uncomfortable? Let me know below!
To the BEST IN YOU
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