Lately I’ve noticed a certain pattern that has been hard to let go. I decided to dig deep again and a few things (my dreams, a recent event in my life, listening to Dr Shefali’s interviews…) have led me to think of my inner child. I had a look on the internet and stumbled on lots of great places to learn. I realised I have never talked to my inner child. I wondered what I could say to this little girl to help her heal, feel safe, valued and loved. This is what came through:
Dear little one,
I love you and I want to say thank you for not giving up. I am so proud of who you are. It’s OK to be scared, I am here for you. It’s OK to make “mistakes”, this is how we learn and this is meant to happen. Sometimes you need a grown up to help you learn. You deserve to be loved unconditionally. The grown ups who have hurt you were wrong. You have nothing to feel ashamed of, you did nothing wrong, they did! I’m sorry you had to suffer the consequences of their wrong doing. But you don’t need to anymore. I know you are scared, but we can talk about it, you’re safe. Thank you for trying so hard to be a protector. I release you from your role as a protector. Now its time to take care of you. From now on you can be who you were meant to be, you can be who you really are. You are free to play and have fun. I am now the adult who will take care of you. We have an amazing journey ahead and I need you to help me play more in life! Love you always, Corinne.
Here are some things I know I needed to hear when I was growing up at different times:
- I love you just the way you are
- I am listening to you
- I understand you
- You are important
- Thank you for being you
- Its not your fault
- I’m sorry
- I’m proud of you
The above letter has less details than the one in my journal and my personal chats to my inner child. The only way to the other side of transporting our pain from early childhood is to go through the pain. Just like it says in the children’s book, ‘We’re going on a bear hunt’ by Michael Rosen, “We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it, oh no we’ve got to go through it” If we want to move past our childhood wounds, we cannot skip this step. We have to be present with our pain, be the pain, breaking it down and understanding it, it’s only then we can move forward. Allow the feelings to come through and safely release them one by one (Make sure you do this with a therapist or any other professional if you can’t do this on your own, especially if it is deep trauma). For now just getting to know your inner child and talking to him/her/ can release some of the feelings around your wounds. So, what would you like to say to your inner child?
Here are a few links I found helpful in regards to Inner work when I was researching:
Connect to your inner child and start the healing process.
With much love and TO THE BEST IN YOU