This week I have been focusing on my mind. I decided at the start of the year on my Facebook page that this month will be about detox. As much as getting rid of toxins from our body is important, I think it is equally important if not more, to let go of the thoughts that are toxic to our mind. I think that if my mind is not right whether it is loaded with toxic thoughts or emotions, I won’t be able to achieve my goals no matter how good my intention is. There are so many studies about the power of the mind. For example, if I tell my mind I am scared, it will do everything it can to protect me (Freeze, Flight or Fight).
I have been feeling anxious for a little while now. I have had the feelings in my body (my stomach feeling nauseous and that its full at times, tension in my jaws, face and neck, also a fast paced mind and dizzy spells while lying down). Therefore as usual, I got busier and pushed through and used distraction to resist, avoid and fight the feelings. What happened is, when I had a closer look at why it wasn’t going away (because I did breathing , I spent time outdoor as this helps me tremendously), I discovered that I was secretly telling myself that “I shouldn’t have these feelings, that I am supposed to be all “Happy” and have everything under control. I didn’t like the discomfort and the way I was feeling. I needed to be doing things, this year is supposed to be about me taking action. I can’t let this happen, because people will think that I am a fraud, I am fake, they will see me as not good enough….” Then after a whole month of carrying these worries (on and off as I pushed them down), I decided to accept what was going on in my body and mind and I decided to listen to the anxiety and find out the message/s behind them. I forgot that we are not human doings but human beings. Feelings are part of us and we all experience them. It is OK to have these feelings. What I needed to do was to find out what thoughts was I holding on to, and what were these feelings telling me. This is what I did:
- First I stopped trying to feel differently and let the feelings through (Bring it on!) The first feelings are uncomfortable, but the moment I did that, I felt relieved and lighter.
- Then, I tried to find out what were the things that were bothering me, I paused, allow myself the time to look inside and note everything from the tiniest to the biggest things that have been bothering me in a way or another for which I was too busy to stop and address them. I tend to shelf stuff when I have no time to deal with them. However, if I keep putting it off, it started to show in different part of my body (through pain, tension etc..) and affecting the way I show up to my everyday life (irritable, sensitive, resistant etc….). So I acknowledge even the tiniest thing that bothered me, e.g my house is a mess, I can’t find my clothes because they are in a box, a friend didn’t reply to my message, all the way to the well-being of my daughter and husband etc…
- Once I allowed myself to feel without judgement and could unfold one by one all the things that were bothering me, it was time to find out what were the underlying beliefs. So, I talked to the worry, This is what I wrote in my journal, ” You are here, I’ve been trying to avoid you and fight you by doing more work, by making sure everyone is happy, especially happy with me etc… but I noticed that it is all making you stronger. Therefore I have decided to surrender and learn to know you. I have decided to be your friend, so lets talk. Tell me more about you, why are you here?…” I then wrote what came out.
- I realised the deeper beliefs that I have been holding on to: “I am not good enough” and “I am not enough”. I knew I had these beliefs but it goes away and then comes back when I set myself a challenge, out of my comfort zone. Which means I have not really shifted these beliefs to “I am good enough” and “I am enough” I guess I have never really done anything directly to change this thought I have about me.
- Now that I know the truth, I will support myself with love and compassion. I will be looking at the times in my life (I know it is in my childhood and even adulthood) that has triggered me to adopt these beliefs about myself with love and compassion. I can now shift these beliefs.
How will I support myself? By doing the following:
- I will use EFT/tapping to help me. This is something I have learned from my psychotherapist. Dawson Church talks about EFT in his book “Mind to Matter” along with the science behind it. This was a modality that worked really well for me when I used it and I would like to try this for the rest of the month and see the difference in me.
- I will use Marisa Peer’s idea, something I’ve seen in Louise Hay’s books too, to write “I am good enough and I am enough”on my mirror, and everywhere I can. I will send myself reminders and repeat this until it is part of me.
- I will also be doing meditation every morning without a fail and continue writing in my journal
I will report on my Facebook page the difference in me in the next 3 weeks. Right now, I have a heavy felling that is pulling me down every time I feel challenged whether it is imposed by myself or someone else. I feel that my mind is trying to stop me every time I want to do something or achieve a goal. The path seems so daunting and I don’t seem to be able to approach my tasks in a calm and confident way. So I wonder if by implementing the above diligently, something will change in me in the next 3 weeks. I am somehow excited to do this experiment!
How do you detox your mind? What underlying beliefs do you hold? Do you feel that these beliefs hold you back?
With much love and to THE BEST IN YOU
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