“Even the smallest of creatures carries the sun in its eyes.” Antonio Porchia
This is our beautiful Cherry who died from a fox attack on Sunday 01.11.20 at about 5.45 am. Today is the 3rd day of her loss and I finally got to journal again and deconstruct my thoughts and feelings as it has been hard for me to accept the fact that she was gone that way. I had a whole different plan for her life, I wanted her and her sister to be the oldest guinea pigs that have ever lived! I wanted her to have many more years of joy with her sister! But the Universe had a different plan. I am always the first to say that God/Universe’s plan is always much much better than ours but here I am, trying to find the answers to so many questions including, what could be so much better about this plan? Other questions I ponder on were: Should we have pets? Are we qualified enough to keep these creatures in our home? Do we have the right to do this? Are we interfering with nature by doing so? What is the life purpose of a guinea pig? Have Cherry served her life purpose? Have I/we helped Cherry to do so? What was her life purpose?
Letter to Cherry:
“Dear Cherry, I will miss watching you in all your beauty, munching freely on grass, taking a nap, standing tall on your 2 tiny legs to reach for the best leaf of the plants around, having fun with your sister while you chase each other, watching you popcorn every time you get so excited whether its because you heard some veggie chopping or just being free or perhaps you found new plants growth in the yard…. I will miss seeing your beautiful face, the joy and love I felt each time I talked to you or just being in your presence. What hurts me the most is that you were hurt by a predator and that I should have protected you better. I guess you don’t think that way, do you?
You live so freely, one present moment at a time. Thank you for deepening my understanding that small things matter more than what we think. Thank you for reminding me that impacting other’s life doesn’t depend on one’s size or the number of resources one have or the grandiosity of one’s life. These are irrelevant but it is truly about the way we connect with one another. You certainly made it easy for me to connect with you. It was easy to see the consciousness in you.
Perhaps that your life purpose was to bring joy into our lives? To inspire us to live each day in awe and wonder? To feel gratitude for the smallest things in life? Perhaps the pain we feel from losing you is here to teach us resilience, love and compassion? To teach us about evolution and finding meaning in life and death? I would like to think that there is something deep and meaningful about our time together. I would like to think that your death is not just another death of a pet, but a death that is worth talking about and acknowledging. A pain that is worth honoring.
Cherry how could I think that I owned your life and how long you get to live it. The Fox reminded me of the brutal reality of life. There is life and there is death but death is life and life is death… No matter how much I want to hate this Fox, I can’t blame him because he was just hungry and did what he was here to do. It hurt me so so so bad to have seen you lying there helpless after you loss the battle of your life. I heard your last breath and I couldn’t stop thinking that I may be if I had done CPR I could have saved you … I could stay here and think of a million and one ways I could have prevented that and I would certainly come up with a million and one ways! But the truth is that this was your battle to fight, your soul purpose to fulfill… And staying stuck in that past will not help me nor the people around me nor your sister and most importantly it will not bring you back. So I choose to think that this was supposed to be your battle and you fought with courage and accepted your death with grace.
I choose to believe that the message in the pain is greater than the loss of the body you lived in, because the message is part of the evolution of Consciousness. I choose to believe that you are a unique expression of consciousness and its evolution. I choose to believe that the formless is “timeless” as Eckhart Tolle explained, therefore I choose to think that you are off continuing your soul mission, allowing the Universe to evolve through you.
Thank you for all the gifts we received from your life and your death. I will nurture our connection through my daily actions and cherish the lovely memory you left behind. Enjoy your next adventure! With much love”
I don’t know whether I am right or not, who holds the full truth anyway. But I am choosing what’s work for me. Finding meaning allows me to transcend my pain and honour cherry’s life purpose. I don’t have the answer to all the questions I posed but I also but unpacking some of the questions, created more space for my emotions to move through.
How did you go through the pain of losing a pet?
With much love and TO THE BEST IN YOU